Have you found yourself asking some of the following questions after a relationship:
How was I to know?
How do I breathe with all the pain I feel weighing on my chest?
How do I heal and move forward?
How do I trust again?
Have you realized that you have been interacting on a very personal level with someone with sociopathic characteristics? Many great videos and other resources are available online to learn about sociopaths.
(People with an anti-social personality disorder.)
I was victimized, but I do not live as a victim. I will no longer be silent because I acted in good faith and lived true to my beliefs and words. No one should be victimized and used by others. Those who can speak should take action to create a better world if this is what we want for ourselves and others.
I hope examples of my journey give you hope and the complete understanding that loving was not a mistake. Your struggles will not end overnight. Your pain and trauma from being betrayed may never leave you altogether. However, there can always be hope and courage from the realization that love is genuine and beautiful for you. Giving your love to someone is a gift, and if someone truly deserves it, you can share it again.
As I write this, it has been ten months since the culmination of the betrayal I experienced. In March of 2022, all I could feel was the immediate shock ... I could not believe the person I thought I knew and loved could do this to anyone, certainly not me. Next came the trauma ... I am still processing the trauma and likely will in some way for a long time. I have learned a lot and am healing with the support of old and new friends. I can feel the light of love shining on my life. I see the possibility that I may choose to give my love again.
I had given almost eight years to the relationship of which I speak. We may feel that the user, the abuser, 'should' not be able to continue living this way without consequences. I believe that the Universe, Karma, God, our Ancestors, or whatever guiding power you believe in will ensure they are responsible for their actions. I encourage you to find ways to move forward and trust that what is 'right' and 'good' will ultimately prevail.
While we have been victimized, we do not have to live as victims. I choose not to be a victim; instead, I will be an advocate for others who have shared my experiences.
Sincerely, James Robinson
Updated January 12, 2023